What If Sybil Had Internet Access?
We've all seen the 1970's cult classic, Sybil, the movie about the woman with all the multiple personalities who liked to "break glass" and after singing Easter Bonnets, fell to the floor crying, because she wanted to sing Easter Bonnets. Well, I've done some thinking, and I got this weird idea. What if this happened in the present where she could have had internet services? That would have been something...... And then it hit me. It has happened! Sybil does have internet access! And she is making websites! And I am stuck in the middle of her charade! Just plowing through my old archives told me that much. So..... here's another satire just for our CyberSybil!
So..... Your website isn't really as popular as you'd like, huh? Especially since you made a hate shrine to someone who's been on the internet twice as long as you, and they've exposed your picture theiving. So what's a person to do? The only time anyone signs your guestbook or comments section, they never post a URL or email address, because you haven't let the people in your head have an email address or URL. But that's all going to change! With the government paying the severely mentally ill to stay at home, away from the general public, they never thought of these people singing up for internet service and opening domains. But..... It's happened! And suddenly, people are emailing you, asking why the only people who sign your comments never leave a domain. Uh-oh! They're catching on to you signing your own comments! You don't want to stop posting on your own comments system, so, you buy lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of domains! This way, not only will your personalities have their own websites, but they'll have something to put down when they sign your comments! After all, they've been with you all your life, right? Don't they deserve their own sites too? And when your imaginary friends start posting all this good on your comments, and have sites to back themselves up as "real" (fake people don't buy domains, do they?), real people will start posting some good praise in your comments too, right?
Now that your imaginary friends have their own domains, you need to actually let them have their own lives. They all can't be childless wives, working in video stores and attending college for webdesign, can they? Especially if you've linked to them in each other's comments! There's nothing like giving yourself away that easily. But this is where our CyberSybil made a mistake. See, not everyone online is a retard. The more technical people online will be able to see how these domains are all owned by the same person. One: They were all registered on the same day, by the same company, to the same person. That's pretty much a good indication that they're all run by the same person. Two: They're all hosted by the same company. Another indication that they're run by the same person. Also, hosts offer discounts for people with multipersonalities and need to by more hosting space for another domain.
Once your imaginary friends have their own domains, and journals, it's time to let them surf the web on their own. But this is where you can get into trouble. You know not to post that you're going to kill others over a layout, right? Good. Have you told this to the people who live inside your head that you let come online? You haven't? Uh-oh. This is where you might want to pull the plug on their internet prilveledges. Because, when they post that stuff, it's your IP that gets recorded. You bought them sites, not their own internet service! This is where the common person realizes that you're lying your ass off. The IPs are all the same, despite the many, many, many names they're posted under, and then your personalities weren't bright enough to post anonymously. They posted their domain names, and then posted links back to the site that they just threatened the person on! How stupid! The people who support the person that you've just threatened go to those sites, see the same mispelled words, the people have the same kinds of jobs, the same marital status, and the same journaling software that your original personality switched to, and they realize something: THIS IS THE SAME PERSON ON ALL THIRTY SITES! Damn! Don't you have anything to do with your life but sit online and make sites pretending to be other people who support your racial ideas and biggost theories. After all, it's best to have others come online and see that; you might find another mental shut-in who shares the same views as you!
Want to see those domains? Email me. I let you read my Live Journal, where they're all listed. :D
