Would You Like To Know What My Tarot Cards Have To Say?

Dionna was reading James's fortune today at the kitchen table with a deck of Tarot cards. The lay out that she came to was: Past: pleasures, Present: fun, The Questioner: happy, and Immediate future: death. Well, no shit, that's the only thing that anyone can predict that's true, you're going to die. There, now give me $1000 because I predicted something that's going to really happen in your future. Anyway, Jade comes along, and hears this predictions, and says, "You're reading these all wrong. See? The four of cups doesn't mean 'fun', it means weariness, aversion, disgust, disappointment, unhappiness, bitter experience, or adversity. But because it's reversed, it's meaning is totally different. It means new possibilities, new relationships, new approaches to old problems, or new acquaintances. That could be that he's meeting all of Dave's family, and adjusting to living here. And that death card? That could mean a blessing in disguise." Both Dionna and James just looked at Jade. "Uh, my grand parents were gypsies," Jade said, her face reddening.

You have to hand it to Jade, she's one smart person.

Reflections

I don't feel sorry for James. His sites, they're obvious fakes. I mean, if his internet friends didn't talk to him on a regular basis, how many people would believe that he was alive? If he was real? People would start questioning his existance. They are, actually. Ever since that Kafei's Web-Log Web Ring started, Jade's been getting emails that are asking if there's only one person that's writing in all these web logs. Yeah, that makes sense. They're all on different times, I'm the only one that can put in an entry before noon more than once in a life time, yet we're all the same person. Before school let out for the summer, James used to blog from Ober's room every day. 9 AM-10 AM. But since school's been out, he's been living his dream of sleeping until one or two in the afternoon, taking baths once a month, never brushing his teeth, basically the indoor-hobo life. Know what else makes a lot of sense? Go to your search engines and put in Kathy Action, if you've never seen her on Top of the Pops before, that is. See? She's real. And she's an O'Dowd. And unfortunately, she's my sister.

If there's one thing that I hope, it's that when this "All Web Logs Are Considered Hoaxes" is over, that a lot of the accusers are the ones that end up looking like the assholes that they are. Now, I need to get back to taking the pictures of the fake people that we're sending to Jana, the woman that doesn't exist in Alabama, that state that isn't there, in this country that's all a figment of my imagination.

Thursday Rain

"Isn't this exactly how you pictured spending today?" Dave asked us all earlier today. Rain is pouring outside. We were supposed to go to New York City for a fun trip today. Looks like I'm the only one that could stay awake. It's Marietta's idea to get us all out of bed at five in the morning to eat. I don't have a problem with getting up that early and staying up, but James looked dead at breakfast, and Jade fell asleep twice. Dave must be used to this, because he was the only person that wasn't even phased by getting up at five to eat.

About yesterday.....

I should never have done that to Jade. She and George have yet to stop fighting over it all. Jade says that she stands by what she did, and I don't blame her. After all, it is her life, her body, her career. Although, I could think of a whole lot better ways to get a Hollywood profile than getting it on, in pictures, with a pop star in Hussler magazine. Not that I don't like sex or anything, I just think that there has to be a better way to make a living. And yeah, I'm not that proud of how I look naked either.

Expressions of Love

Just because I wanted to, I went to a newsstand with the intentions of buying a copy of the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. But there was another magazine that caught my attention. Or the headline on it anyway. The headline titled: Billy and Kathy: Smashing in Action. This interested me because usually there are a lot of cliques like that about my sister's TV persona, Kathy Action. So, I used the money for the WSJ and NYT, and bought the Hussler magazine. Turning to page 31, I find explicit pictures of Jade and Billy C. She was sucking his dick, there were penetration pictures, and a cum shot picture. Now, what self-respecting person would pose for Hussler? There were a total of 40 pictures. They were taken June 12, 2001; Hamphstead, London. So, that's what Jade did there??

Rolling the magazine up, I catch the bus back to Yonkers, and as soon as I get to Marietta's, I show Dave the magazine. "So?" he asks me dully. "Don't you care? Jade did this after you guys were married!" I was pissed. Dave sighed. "Billy, let your sister be happy. If this makes her happy, so be it. But I think she's sleeping with him for her career," he replied. No help there. He thought this was okay?!?! I don't even like the idea that Marcy still talks to Cedric. So, I go in search of someone that would care. I made the bad mistake of showing the magazine to James. He was no help. He started crying over that. "Why won't she sleep with me?!?!?" Oh God, what did I deserve to be surrounded by all these morons? Outnumbered by fools.... Anyway, third time's a charm right? I showed the magazine to George, whose face turned bright red and then white. "She.....! That slut!!!!! She did this stuff in my house!!!!!! Where is she?!?!" Jade was lounging on the balcony. "Jade!!" George screamed at her. "What?" she asked and stood up. George slapped her across the face. "Explain this!!!!" he said, and threw the magazine at her. Jade was shocked, but didn't move. "I did it for the money!" she cried.

The fight went on for some time. I listened in the other room, enjoying the chaos that I'd created with a smug smile. Aren't I an ass??

Sick Boy

Why is it when people see me, or hear that I have cancer, they immediately think that I'm this sick, fraile person that can barely wipe their own ass? Yes, I have cancer. Yes, there are times when I get sick, and can't do the normal things that I usually do. But that doesn't mean that I'm like that all the time. That mostly happens when I'm on chemotherapy, or just off it, or having a relapse. For the most of it, this has been painless. No constant gut aches, no weird feelings, just a little pain right before I throw up, and that's it. About 30 seconds of nausea, puke, and I'm back to normal.

What's on everyone's blogs today? James and his show on TV. Yep, James made it to MTV. Does this mean that he deserves an award or something? He said that he was actually sick and tired of people telling him that he did so good!!! Can you believe that? It's weird. I wish that someone had told me that I did good the first time that I was on Top of the Pops. I wanted to be a veejay as bad as Dave did. But people kept telling me that I sucked at it so bad that I gave up. I know that's sad that I gave up after the first time that someone told me that I was bad, but this really worried me. What if everyone thought that I sucked? Not that I aim to please everyone. I learned a long time ago that there's always going to be someone that I piss off, no matter what I do.

Which brings me to the subject of Jana. No, I don't hate her. I'm not going to do anything to her. I never will. I took those screen pictures of James on TV just for her. I know that she wants me to take down the blogs about how she's the Wicked Bitch of the West Side of Alabama, and she's also probably mad that I called her Roseanne Barr's stage double on the message board. But you know what? That made someone laugh. They weren't laughing at Jana, but at what I'd said. And they're going to use my material in their fights against someone that really is a big, fat, bitch. That made me feel so much better. Yep, that's why I say and do some of the things that I do, because I really believe that people should smile and laugh with me, or at me, or about whatever. Just laugh and smile. It takes away virtually any pain that you could have. I don't know how many times I've told people that, but it worked for me. Bonnie wasn't laughing at Jana. She was laughing at the thought that she could tell that to her mom, who really deserves to be called that and then some. She threw Jade out while she was in labour, knowing that Jade had no where to go.

That's about it for me for tonight. After all, us sick, fragile cancer people need to sleep all the time.

Too Far

James has to be mental. He has to. There's no reasoning with some people, and he should know that. Had he had told me last night that he'd emailed Jana, I'd have told him not to waste his time; Marcy's probably intercepting his email too. She'd probably get her own copy. So far, Jana hasn't been on all day. What else is new? She's probably cooking up some other insults for Jade. Jana has no conscience. She wouldn't care if Jade died today because of all this. Well, she'd worry who to target next.

Here's where I'm going to be honest. Ever since Jade told me that Jana was her "friend", I've researched the woman, and I never found a thing that I liked about her. When I asked Marcy today (yeah, she called to harrass Jade), she said, "I never liked that skank, I only pretended to so that she wouldn't be friends with Jade." Nice huh? This coming from the world's nicest, most honest person. I don't know how far this is going to go. Infact, the whole mess is actually starting to scare me. I never dreamed that it would go this far. I figured that Jade would talk to Jana a couple of times and that would be it, and things would be okay. But she wanted a friend, and who doesn't? But she told everyone, and that was something that she shouldn't have done. She's paying the ultimate price for that now. She's sitting there, waiting for this woman to come online because she's too cowardly to call her again, and she hasn't slept in two nights, or eaten in three days. Is this the way that friendship is supposed to be? It was never like this with any of my friends. They weren't stupid either. God knows how she's staying awake. What did she take to stay awake all this time? No Doz? That's real good for her heart.

James has yet to wake up. He stayed up until four this morning, wanting to talk to Jana. No such luck. Surprised that she didn't show up James? About the only thing that would surprise me would be if Jana admitted that she was wrong all this time, and that's not going to happen. Yeah, she's going to probably attempt to kiss Jade's ass, but how long will that last? A day or so? Then she'll be right back up the slut's ass, talking to her, telling her how ugly Jade is, and she doesn't see what James sees in her. That was real sweet of her wasn't it? Especially since Marcy had the phone on speaker. Jade heard every word of that.

If there's one thing that I'll never understand it's why Jana never saw through Marcy's stained-glass curtain that she was hiding behind. How can one person be that stupid? I'd bet my life on it that diaryland diary will mysteriously disappear this week before I get a chance to mirror it. Not that I think that anyone would ever want to read it again. It would be mirrored just because. Because people need to know this. People like Jana.

I now believe that Marcy only pretended to like me so that I'd get her pregnant, and she'd have an excuse to be near Jade to cause her problems. She never had any interest in me until I moved in with Jade. And that's sad and sick.

If You Believe Marcy...

I think I'll leave the title at that. I'm not going to verbally abuse anyone in my blog, because, well, she isn't worth losing to Jana in the close-neck of The Usual Gang of Idiots' member of the month feature. It's a close run, and I'm more than determined to win (I think my essay helped push me up to tie). Even though all members can vote, you can only be in the running if you have a personal blog that James or Bonnie has access to, blog every day (at least!), and not verbally abuse anyone in a published blog. I think I more than deserve this mostly because I've had to deal with Jade being drunk all day. Jade should be happy. Dave said that when we got here to Yonkers, Jade would be a lot happier without the "slut" here to cause her misery and pain. That was good and all until Jade read Jana's email to her. Jana's missed the entire point, and it's caused a lot of problems with both Jade and James here. They stayed up almost all night last night trying to get Jana to see past Marcy's stain glass curtain that she's hiding behind. But what was the message that Jana got? "You're concerned that I took a lot of pills."

AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Was she dropped on her head one too many times as a baby? Did her mom drop acid when she was pregnant with her?! No one is that stupid!!!!! Anyway, Jade read the email, and went into a frenzy. Either Jana was avoiding the entire situation, or she was really stupid. I mean, doesn't she know by now that no one here cares if she swallows a thousand pills? And that is a form of drug abuse. If it was labeled on me for taking muscle relaxants, it can be labeled on Jana too. They were both perscription drugs, and we took them to numb the pain that our family members were causing us, right? So what's the difference? None that I can see. Oh wait, it must be okay for Jana to do it because she's 40 and I'm still considered a minor right? That must be it.

The entire time that Jade was crying and upset by this, I was silently thinking, Marcy, you'd better pray that she doesn't reach for a bottle. Because if she does, you're out on your ass. Jade reached for the bottle. She got drunk. She's lying there in Marietta's bed (Dave's grandmother's bed), drinking booze and singing Fundamentally Loathsome from Mechanical Animals. So I get on line and IM Marcy and tell her that all her shit had better be packed and she'd better be ready to go back to her mom's when we get home. She's ruined the entire trip, and we've only been here three hours. Amazing isn't she? The bitch. I know now that she only sucked my ass and pretended to like me in an attempt to get closer to Jade and ruin her. I hate jealous people.

Well, I'm off to go see if Jade's okay. I doubt it though. Rule of rhyme: No one ever comes between an irishman and his family. No one.