Like It's 1995

I got drunk tonight. Drunk off my ass. You know what's worse? It was while I was watching MadTV too. But there was some good points. I did this with Jade. Like we used to before..... well, before things got complicated. When everyone was friends.

Now if she'd only give me that box....... I'll tell Jana if I have to!

The Package

The Good News: Jade is alive and well.

The Bad News: Jade is alive and well.

She cleaned my room. She pulled my desk out and vaccuumed between the walls and the floor. She moved my printer/scanner to another place. She rearranged everything on my shelves, and I have no idea where anything is any more. She washed the dust ruffle on my bed. Why? What was the purpose of that? I thought that it was fairly clean, just a few soda stains where people kicked over cans of Pepsi and Coke. I think she turned the matteress on my bed too, but I can't be sure about that one. I checked for my stash box, and surprise, surprise, it was gone. And to make matters worse, Jana sent me a box and Jade won't even let me have it. What did Jana send me? It looks like it's a book. Maybe she sent me a picture album of pictures of her naked in various positions. Heh heh heh. Like she'd send me something like that! Well, if she did, then of course I'd post them here! Wait..... Jana's at least 40....... shudders at the thought of a 40-year-old gash.........thinks of all the readers that will fall over dead at the slight glance at something like that....... Okay, I'm better now. I think. The nightmare is over.

Sorry Jana. That was supposed to be a joke. Sorry if it hurt your feelings or something.

I'm still mad at Jade for messing with everything in here. This is my room. That is my box. She has no right messing with it.

Jade

It's been days since anyone's heard anything from my sister. She hasn't called, emailed, or anything to anyone. It's strange. Jade is almost always in contact with people that she cares about, especially when something bad has happened. This is beyond sad. There were empty ProMeth (perscription cough syrup) bottles found at her's and Dave's apartment. I hope that Jade reads this, because I want her to know that someone is thinking about her. Someone care. And I'll be the first to say it even if no one else out there can.

As for Dave, well, he's better. They're going to take the trake out tomorrow. He was awake all day today, asking about Jade. Not verbally, but it was written on a piece of paper. He handed it to everyone that came in to see him, first thing. I was one of the first that read it, and I had to say that I didn't know where Jade is, because I don't. No one seems to know either, and if I was a total retard, I'd go by her blogs, there are several entries there. But know what? That could have been written by anyone.

I have another blog to make. The URL will be posted here.

A Day Without Blogging

There was a lot of tears yesterday, mostly shed by me. I know that there was no one here to do any of this but me, and I had to do it, but why? Just because I was the only one here? That isn't right, but I guess so. I hated calling all those people who were friends, relatives and loved ones to Vanessa and Erik. Just to make myself feel better, I logged into "Lauren's" email account, seen all the letters that she'd sent out to people. Apparently she's my cousin from Birmingham, England, and that sucks big time. But anyway, I forwarded that to her dad, John. I didn't sign my name to it, and I have no idea if he got it or not. I also sent her AIM screen name from that account too. I doubt that he knows about this site, but he needed to know right? I hate liars. Especially liars that have no reasons to lie. If Amie had simply said that it was her who was writing those emails and stuff, but was doing it under Lauren's name, I doubt that anyone would have cared. Jana would have understood that, and overlooked the email to me from the gurl mail account. But there are some unanswered questions:

•Who did I talk to on the phone that called from Alabama? I called James yesterday among all the calls I made and had him play the tape that I made from good 'ol Sparky and he said that was Lauren. Was it possible that I was talking to both girls from the same account? And does this mean that I'm friends with Lauren as well?

•Amie admitted that she made up all the stories about Jana's ex to keep my attention because I'd log off when she came on. But usually after that, Lauren would call me and ask why I just logged off. Did that stuff really happen? Did Amie befriend Lauren before she did me?

•Who sent me the birthday card from Alabama? I doubt that Jana did, and I know it wasn't Lindsay, she sent Jade several and several get-well cards, but none to me.

•Who should I forward that card to?

•Who is the girl in the pictures that were mailed to me? Is that Lauren? The post mark on all the mail that I got from her was from Alabama. When I would write to her, I sent mail to a post office box.

That about wraps it up. That and the fact that I'm going to gather all this stuff that "Lauren" sent me and get ready to send it to someone. When I get home that is. I have no idea how I'm going to get home, because Jade's gone, Dave's too injuried, James is probably too stoned to get me home, and I want to be home. I want to go now, but I have two more nights here.

The Morgue

Around 4:30 today, there were reports of a Ferrari accident that happened on I-44. There were only two cars involved. The car that was described sounded a lot like mine. 2001 model, cherry red, green interior. It sounded like my car. But it couldn't be right? There were four people from the accident that were taken to this hospital. A fifth person died at the scene. Once here, another victim died. A girl. Her name? Vanessa Miller. That name sounded familiar. I got out of bed, and went to go find Bonnie. I asked her about the victims. She had tears in her eyes. "You don't remember Vanessa? She was Dave's cousin," she told me. Alarms went off in my head. Dave was supposed to go pick Vanessa up from her job today. "Was Dave....?" I couldn't finish my sentence. "Trauma seven," she replied. I went down to trauma seven. There was a gang around the room, other residents, nurses, medical students. Dave was loved here.

I pushed to the front of the crowd, and into the room. "Did anyone call Jade?" I asked. Dr. Angela Wright, Dave's foster mom, turned to me. "Are you his brother-in-law?" she asked. "Yeah," I replied. They had cracked Dave's chest. I just stared at what was happening. After what seemed like ages, I called Jade. She didn't believe me at first, but she still came down to the hospital. She got here intime to see Dave being taken up to surgery.

Erik, Dave's younger brother, was in the Ferrari with Dave and Vanessa. He died at 5:02 PM today. One of the guys from the other car died at the scene, and the other guy seems to be doing well. Well, better then the rest.

I've emailed several of Dave's friends and my friends. When I feel the time is right, I'll talk about Dave again. But I can't now. Not now. I just keep thinking about Jade, and how she'll probably kill herself over this. I wish, more then anything in this world that I were home right now and could look after her. I don't want anyone else to die. I keep remembering how mean everyone was to Jade before this happened. I hate myself for that. It's horrible. This whole thing. I hope that when I wake up tomorrow, it'll all be over.

What Was Once Pitty

I don't know if I dare say this on my blog. I know that the online diaries will only cause problems for everyone, but they won't do what they want. I felt really sorry for Jana, knowing that James was writing these sad poems/songs to her on his blog, and that Dave thought that she was the one that had beat up Jade, and Cedric thought she was a man. My thoughts on this was, man, no wonder she's avoiding everyone. But then I talked to Jade today. Jana's not as innocent or victimized as I thought.

Well, I think it's been over two months since James told Jana that he destroyed the evidence of Lindsay's. He told Jana that because he wanted her to tell it to her husband. Think she did? No. She intentionally withheld evidence about us for whatever reason. I think that itself was a hidden message that she hates us. Especially James. I wanna be the one to tell him!!!!!! Second, she just up and deleted her blog without telling James, and he's paying $15-$20 per day for the graphics and counter on there. Has she bothered to tell him that he just wasted about $100 last week because she threw a titty baby fit and deleted that? Nope. Not at all. Well, I wanna tell him that too.

After hearing all this, well, I have no more pitty for Jana. MetaFilter might have been able to tell us that she wasn't lying about the ground things (her home address, her name, etc), but they couldn't tell us that she was lying about caring about James. And that's what's really sad. She made him treat his bio mom like shit and then all of this happened. It was is so sad. How can another human do this? I'd have to kill myself if I ever did something like this to another human being. But hey, that's just me. I have a conscience.

Cedric, You Moron!!

Okay, let's add Cedric to the list of retards out there. He actually had the nerve to say that Jana was a man! I wonder if Jana knows that she's really a man? It's probably as much of a shock for her to find out that she's a man then it would be the rest of us!! ;-)