No More Jokes Please!!!

If I get one more email with the subject as: "Laughter Is The Best Medicine" or "Here's A Joke To Cheer You Up", not only will I post the reject's email address, but I'll scream too. Those jokes were corny, retarded, and not a one of them were dirty. What's up with that? Am I the only guy that's under the age of 18 that's not a virgin? I mean those were jokes that kindergardeners would have passed back and fourth. It was basic "this guy walks into a bar" and "why did the chicken cross the road" and "knock-knock" shit. Things that I out grew ten years ago when I found out that my dick was something more then a pisser. Yeah, that's when I found out about it. But nothing happened with it until I was fifteen, okay, pervs? Are we done discussing my sexuality now? Good.

I was emailed the HTML for the "soul of the web" award today. I don't know if I want to put it up yet or not. I emailed the guy back and asked if I could change the color from dingy gray to blue. Just so that it'll match the text in my blog. Which, by the way, pisses James off because blue is his favorite color, and he can't figure out how to get it in blue yet. But he knows underline, italics, and bold. Oh well. James isn't well known for his intelligence.

Oh what the hell. I'll put it up in blue, and if Randy wants me to change it later on, I will. You gotta try everything once right?

Missing The Point

If there's one thing that I hate, it's stupid people (see yesterday's entry). Especially people whom you have to explain every little detail to. That annoys me. It makes me wonder if Jana leaving us alone wasn't the greatest idea in the world. Sometimes, I think it was. Let's see how she qualifies to be put there right behind our buddy "Ben" DOVER, shall we? First of all, she's living with an abusive man who's convinced her that it's a protective measure. Sure. Un-huh. If that's protection, then who's protecting you from your protector?? But I guess she likes stuff like that. Second, how would you feel if you sacrificed everything that you ever wanted, needed, and your family members, to send money to a greedy whore all to have her mother turn around and give you hell, bitch you out, and call you names for showing a sign of love and affection towards her [the mother]? I'd feel pretty shitty, and that's exactly what Jana did to James. No wonder he's blogging about her the way that he is. I'd do more then that, but hey, that's just me.

And did I see Jade wearing a pair of door-knocker style earrings today??? Weren't those for Jana????

The Sad, Stupid People I Have To Deal With

Upon checking my email this morning, I came to several conclusions. One: Jana must be *terrified* of me, because she refuses to email me back. It's not like I'm going do anything to the mental case. But that's okay. One day she'll want to talk to me, ask me what happened, and you know what I'll say? "Um, excuse me, but we're not talking, remember?" Ha ha! I wish she was around right now so that I could say that to her. Really! It kinda makes me want to give James some Laudum just to make him sick, and her worry, so that she'd try to talk to me! Ha! HA! Anyway, back to the email shit. Two: I've won the same award as my sister. That Soul of the Web award. That was probably the easiest thing that I've ever won in my entire life. I just have to show that I have a heart, and I get this award to display on my site. But hell, if Jade could win it, writing about cheating on her husband, and hating Jana, then anyone can win it, right? Three: There are some severely retarded people out there. I got this letter from some idiot, let's call him "Ben". Believe me, I'm very tempted to give him the last name of DOVER. Anyway, he wrote this to me today: "You mention that you're in a hospital called TRMC, is that an acronem (spelling??) for Tulsa Regional Medical Center? And if it is, do you live in Oklahoma?" Well, "Ben", yeah, it is an acronem for Tulsa Regional Medical Center, but it's not in Oklahoma any more! See, us here in Tulsa, we didn't like Governer Keating, so we moved the entire town to Istanbul! We bought the country, and now Tulsa's it's own country! Did you know that? Huh? Huh? Well, did ya? Stupid.

It amazes me how some people can be so stupid and yet they live so long. If I were you, "Ben", I'd go back to school and learn my geography. Next thing you know, you'll be saying that Arkansas is between Oklahoma and Texas.

On to something more uplifting. Sort of. James is going home tomorrow with or without any medical advice. He says that he hates being stuck in this place, and he's not going to be a "duck on display" any more. He's also back to his old asshole self, that's a good sign, it means that he's feeling better then he has in months. I'm glad that he's better. I just want out of here. Hasn't it been a fucking month yet? Four weeks? I WANNA GO HOME!!!!! But I can't. So I guess I'll just go to bed.

Today I Feel....

Maybe I should leave that space blank. Who knows? I've got all these mixed emotions, and it's killing me. I can't believe that Jana signed that paper. And you know what? She has no conscience! She doesn't! She doesn't seem to care that Jade's going to be beaten to a bloody pulp when Dave finds out that she's called her. Think that ever crossed Jana's mind? Nope. Not at all. Well, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Jana Owes Me

I went to go see James again today. He was awake again, and he had a million questions for me. "Who's feeding my siblings and cousins? Who's feeding my dogs and other pets? Who's paying my bills? Who's collecting my mail?" I had to lie. I had to. He was still upset over that deal yesterday where Jana didn't call after she promised that she would. So there was one way out of this. A lie. And a really far-fetched one at that. "Well, you know that Jana quit her job right?" he nodded. "She did. And since she's got all this free time on her hands, she's come to Tulsa. I think she got here Monday." his eyes widened. "She's been at your house, making sure that your bills were paid, your siblings and cousins were fed, and your pets, and she's been bringing in your mail ever since. So you see, you have nothing to worry about. Infact, that's why she didn't call you yesterday. She was too busy taking care of all that stuff." He was a little shocked, but it worked. He believed me. He thinks that Jana would actually lower herself to come here and help him. She won't even call him or anything. It's sad. But it happened. She owes me big time for this. And I don't mean a three-lined thank-you email either.

Care To Explain Yourself?

It seems as though there's a lot of mix-ups and confusion about some recent blogs. Well, here's something that you might not know: These blogs weren't really created for outsiders to read. If you start reading mine, even from the beginning, you'll see that it's like picking up a book and starting in chapter 5 or something. There is no beginning. It seems to be written in the middle. I can't help that if people don't like the way that these blogs were written. Mine is mostly sarcasm and satires of the retarded things that my friends and family do on a daily basis. It's not really to humiliate them or cause fights to break out, because I know that I live in a glass house. I'm not throwing stones, I'm only tossing them. And tossing them only a few feet at that. Just far enough for people to know that they were tossed. Confused? Good. So am I.

On to more important things!

It appears that James didn't die, but he is really sick. The sad thing? He doesn't know how sick he is. He thinks that he's just really hungry. So what now? He's sitting there on AOL, waiting for Jana, who probably won't show, while he's considering devouring his skin. Go for the thicker skin on your heels! That's where the best taste is, and it won't hurt when you peel it off to eat it. What? Why are you staring at me like that?! You honestly didn't think that I learned nothing when I was with those Satanists and that I wasted my time? And if you must know... Yes, I've eaten human flesh. Not only my own but the flesh of others. It's not that bad, but I've never tasted anything else like it.

Now that all my readers are sick and ready to puke, I'll close.

James? Dead?

I logged on, going to blog about how mad I was that James didn't come to see me today. I was going to bitch that he was probably off stoned somewhere. Then I seen that Jade had recently blogged, so I decided to see what kind of sexcapade that my sister had gotten herself into this time, so that I could satire that. When I read her blog, I see that she wrote not only late last night, but just now about James. Today she said that he'd died. He died? When? Where? How? Why? Why didn't anyone call me? She said that it wasn't suicide, not that I'd believe for a minute that it was. Then I read on to last night's blog entry. Apparently Jana disowned him or something (this from the woman that claims that she loves us all???), and I know that this is going to sound weird, but I think his emotions killed him. Really. Infinate sadness is a powerful thing. One that can't be controled.

I think that I'm still in shock here. But I will email Jana. For all the good that it might do, since Jade stated several times that Jana's cancelled her AOL account. But I still gotta try, right?